Love Square
by Mithril Spatula
Summary: A story of love, honor, and unconventional warfare as Celine, Chisato, and Rena battle over Claude
1. Love Potion

Author's Note: This is my first ever fanfic. I thought of this story in about 10 minutes and then elaborated a whole lot on the basic idea. I think it's kinda' choppy at times, but you should think it's ok (hopefully). Please please please read and review ^^  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Star Ocean 2 (if I did, I would find a new voice actor for Ernest), or any of it's characters (however I wish I owned Opera ^^).  
  
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. Chisato and Claude sat on the edge of the cliff looking at the stars. This would be a great opportunity for him to kiss me; Chisato thought with a smile. What happened instead was not exactly what she was expecting. Claude, putting his arm around her whispered into her ear: I've got to get the hell out of here! There are no girls anywhere! Rena's already gone down into Lacour. Claude left the cliff and went back to his tent. Chisato stood petrified.  
  
That night Bowman was in his tent pretending to be asleep. At about midnight, he was sure everyone was asleep. He snuck over into the bushes behind them and took out the herbs. It will work perfectly this time. It's at night and everything. Bowman was optimistic, too optimistic. He crushed the leaves and put them into the pan. Bowman then mixed in the appropriate amount of water. I hope she likes this, if she doesn't. she'll Crest magic me to death or something. Bowman was nervous as heck. Every little noise scared him. He was about done with the potion when he spied Chisato standing on the cliff. Bowman was freaked out.  
  
She stood there petrified a lot longer than she expected. The next morning, she was awakened by awkward sounds coming from somewhere behind her in the camp. Opera emerged from her tent coughing.  
  
"What's wrong with me? I can't stop coughing". There was a yellowish gas everywhere in the air. Chisato thought: I could write about this. It's a natural phenomenon, right?  
  
Bowman cursed his stupidity. The mixture never worked right, and he always ended up being thumped by someone. This time it didn't work, and he was going to pay for it more than usual.  
  
"Oh Bowman darling?" Celine chimed from somewhere in the camp. "I hope you have that love potion done!"  
  
Oh shit!!! How do I get out of here? Bowman panicked. He dropped the bowl and ran for his life.  
  
Celine sighed. "Come back here darling! I at least want to see your failure," she sounded innocent but anyone could tell that there was a clear shot of menace in her voice.  
  
Opera stood in front of her tent. "What's this about a love potion?"  
  
Oh damn, now I'm really screwed. Bowman thought in agony. Soon he gave up running down the hill and stopped to face his punishment. Celine walked up to him and said:  
  
"Where's that mixture? Let me see it!" She still sounded half- innocent.  
  
Bowman, trembling with panic, held up the mixture for Celine to examine. Celine sniffed it, and shrieked. Then she fainted.  
  
"Di-did I d-d-do something wr-wrong?" Bowman stuttered. He was thoroughly shaken by the reaction. He looked around, but all he saw were trees, rocks, and grass. Soon he realized that that was getting him nowhere fast.  
  
"Did someone call me?" Opera asked, bumbling down the hill in a "I just woke up" sort of manner. She tripped and fell, and sprawled out next to Celine. "Ernest, is that you?" she moaned wit her eyes closed. Then Opera sat bolt upright. "What the hell is that smell?"  
  
"Love potion. Why do you ask?" Bowman said, ridiculously self-aware. "I just tried to make another potion to have Celine and Claude fall in love. "  
  
"Stupid scientist! That will never work. What you need is true feelings for each other, not some malodorous potion. Tell Celine to get a life and try it the natural way." Opera got up off the ground in a dignified Tetragenian way and went back to the camp. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ 


	2. Kentucky Fried Rena!

Author's note: PLEASE REVIEW THIS STORY AND HELP ME WITH THE POLL I'M TAKING!!!!!!!!!!! Here's: the question: Have you always had the urge to feel Leon's ears? Please tell all of your friends and answer in your review. I'll post the results in chapter 3 author's note (maybe there will be another poll...) also: please pardon my Claude and Rena bashing.  
  
Disclaimer: I couldn't pay them enough to own Star Ocean. So, I don't. If I did, Ernest's voice would be changed by now. Also, I would make Claude bashing an Olympic Sport.  
  
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Part 1: Kentucky Fried Rena!!!  
  
"OOOOONNNNNNIIIIIIII SSSAAAAMMMAAAA!!!!!!!!" Rena grabbed Dias' arm and led him into the shop. They had left from the camp roughly 2 days ago, and were now wandering around Lacour. Every shop they had come to was visited, every tavern avoided, and because Ashton came along with Rena and Dias, every barrel hugged and complimented.  
  
Inside the shop, there were small chotchkies littering the floor, small wooden toys, and one large, colorful, antique, magnificent, wooden, barrel in the corner.  
  
"BARREL!!!!!!!!" Ashton ran over to the barrel. " You are so colorful, but you looked best from the door." Then he ran to the door and admired it.  
  
Rena bought several useless decorations and display items. Dias was bored shitless, and Ashton was awed by the barrel. After several hours, they emerged exhausted and broke.  
  
"Shall we go back to the hotel? I want to see how these will look on me." Rena held up several gold-toned necklaces. Dias nodded agreement, and they checked into their room. Rena was occupied for the rest of the day trying on all of her jewelry. That night, they were all about to fall asleep when something happened.  
  
Bowman burst through the door and ran over to Rena: "The love potion failed!!! I spent all day running from Celine! Quick, hide me!!!" He panicked and dove under the bed.  
  
"What's this about a love potion? Who's it for? Who's Celine trying t- " she stopped abruptly and stood up. "Love potion... Celine... Claude.... it's all starting to piece together." She started out the room, furious at Celine's try at Claude. She suddenly found herself crispy.  
  
"All right!!! That's it Bowman! Firebolt!!! Um....." Those were Celine's words as she also burst through the door and fried Rena.  
  
Ashton stirred in his sleep. "Hmm.. Hum... barrels... Gyoro... stop that....".  
  
Rena looked up at Celine, who was standing in the other side of the threshold. "Celine? Did you know that those were new necklaces?" she looked down at the molten puddle of gold on the floor. Rage distorted her disgustingly innocent looking face.  
  
"Well, you see that I was... you weren't... Bowman, um, uh.... oh dear." Suddenly Celine found herself outside in the street at night, with a body shaped hole in the wall in front of her. "Darling Rena? What happened?" Rena stepped through the hole menacingly.  
  
Then Dias came out the front door of the hotel. "Okay, break it up you two. Who's responsible?"  
  
"She ruined my perfectly good new necklace, and fried me!!!"  
  
"She punched me through the wall, and now I'm all dirty!!! It's her fault!"  
  
"Celine was trying to take my Claude!!!" At this, there was a hurling of insults that if mentioned in the text, would bump up the rating one or two. It ended several minutes later when sparks flew. Rena flew backwards into the wall. Dias jumped in front of the fighting ladies and tried to stop the fight. Rena ran forward and kicked Celine. Celine fried Rena again.  
  
"STOP!!!" Dias yelled. Someone across the street from a 3rd story window yelled "will y'all shut up? I've been tryin' to sleep, and there's all dis' cursin' and fightin' an' lightnen' I can't stand it anymore!"  
  
Dias fell silent. Then Ashton came through the hole in the wall and started in a whisper:" Let's try to settle this diplomatically. Rena, you're mad because Celine tried to take Claude right? And also because she ruined you're necklace, right?" Rena nodded her agreement. "And Celine, you're angry because Rena... punched you, right?" Celine nodded as well. "Well then, how about we all apologize and get some sleep."  
  
"Rena, I thought you were Bowman when I fried you. I'm very sorry about this. And the love potion was for... Chris. Yeah, Chris" yeah that's the ticket she thought.  
  
"Rena said innocently, oh. I thought you were taking the love potion for Claude. I guess I overreacted. I'm very sorry." She turned scarlet and ran to Dias. "Oni-sama!" (author's note: this atmosphere is not from this Anime (with the running to the big brother and crying and all) if you can correctly answer which Anime this is from in your review, you'll have the pleasure of knowing that you got it right. Please be sure to leave your e- mail on your review so I can tell you whether or not you're right. Hint: think pink. Thank you!) Rena hugged him really long until Dias started turning purple.  
  
"You-can - get off now." He could barely breathe. During the hug, everyone else had gone to bed, and the sun had begun to rise. They were all sleep-deprived and worn out, and Rena needed a shower badly to wash off all the ash.  
  
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End file.
